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6 Lessons From My Dad

6/17/2024

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In honor of Father’s Day, I decided to share a few nuggets of wisdom that I learned from my own dad. I have been compiling this list for a while and it was a challenge to pick the ones I wanted to share and also to refine and categorize them in a way that would connect with a broader audience.
 
Some of these will probably bring out your own memories of your dad and his sayings so please share. It’s the sharing of memories that not only carries on the impact of others but helps build future stories for the next generation.
 
My dad was my hero. He is the person I have respected most in my life and there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of him and share with him my own adventures. He’s the standard by which I measure myself and the port I search for in stormy weather.
 
If it’s Worth Doing, it’s Worth Doing Right
Don’t do something halfway around my dad or you were going to hear this… on repeat!  Ironically, that wasn’t the view of my mom which led to some interesting dynamics throughout their life together. Whether it was cleaning, building or practicing sports, he wanted to make sure you were committed.
 
He believed in working smarter rather than harder, but also didn’t believe in taking shortcuts just to save time. Ultimately, if something deserved to occupy your time, then it had value and you needed to treat it with respect.
 
  • When you commit to something, do it to the best of your ability.
 
You Can Do and Be Anything You Want
Don’t let people's view limit you as they do not control your potential. The long talks we had through my childhood were always about people who succeeded and achieved in life. My dad was an avid reader of Time, US News, Scientific American, Sports Illustrated and many others and would always share the stories of those who overcome life's challenges.
 
He stressed to me that being an athlete and being intelligent are not mutually exclusive. He would reference Bill Bradly, from Crystal City, Mo. Whose journey took him to Princeton, to the Final Four, to the Olympics, to a Rhodes Scholar, to the Knicks, to the U.S. Senate. He would say, that could be you. And I believed him. 
 
Dad grew up during the depression, hitchhiked the country after WWII, and settled down in Alaska raising a family and starting multiple businesses to provide for his family. He started youth sports programs, served on school boards and hosted politicians. He was a person of impact.
 
  • Your destiny is constantly being shaped and reshaped by your choices and your actions. It’s not a point in time, but your journey in life.
 
It’s Okay to Be Silly
I never remember my dad wearing tennis shoes. My early memories were of my dad always being dressed up. Wearing wingtip shoes even when on vacation. As we got older and we moved to Missouri, it changed to jeans and wearing ball caps. But his ability to find ways to have fun in life never changed.
 
The corny jokes and comments that are now celebrated as “Dad Jokes” were just my dad. Ordering a “Dr. Salt” because all of us and the grandkids were ordering Dr. Pepper. He and I would follow each other around the house walking in some goofy fashion like we belonged on Benny Hill or Carol Burnette show just to hear my mom cackle. Normally, kids would grow out of this, but somehow, I enjoyed this routine with him until he could no longer remember what to do.
 
  • No matter how busy or serious your life becomes, take time to just be silly and enjoy the ride.
 
“All I want to see is elbows and a$$holes”
This is a saying that he learned from his days in the Merchant Marines in reference to sweeping/mopping the deck. He loved to bring it out when we were sweeping driveways, repairing the flat roofs, prepping the motel pool for summer, or shoveling the crap in the barn.
 
While it was infuriating to hear him repeat it over and over with the smugness of a person who had heard it a hundred times himself, it obviously stuck with me and something I have repeated to my own kids, but not nearly as often because my hands start to blister by simply uttering the words! It wasn’t just the words. It was the lessons that he demonstrated about the importance of committing to your work - even when the job sucked - because it was the job you were hired to do.
 
  • When it’s time to work, you work. You don’t stand around and watch others.
 
Let’s Walk the Fence Line
On the surface, it was all about work and making sure that everything was up to par. Originally, it was walking around the resort/motel we owned at the Lake of the Ozarks. Later, after we bought a farm, it was literally walking the fence line to make sure it was still strong and repair where it wasn’t.
 
But it was so much more than that.
 
It was getting outside and stretching your legs. But the real purpose was to stretch your mind.  That is when we would dream and talk about what could be and craft a future state that would bring out that mischievous twinkle in his eyes. I miss those moments.
 
  • Take time to stretch your legs and stretch your mind. Never stop dreaming.
 
Take Time to Enjoy Some Ice Cream
“Ready when you are…” As the older kids left home and it was just me and my parents, this was the phrase you would hear every evening as we were hanging out in the kitchen or living room watching some T.V. It was the signal that Dad was ready for some ice cream.
 
We didn’t have little dessert bowls. Mom scooped it into cereal bowls. Lots of scoops! Sometimes she would bring out the 14 various toppings so you could create the sundae of your dreams, but most nights it was simply chocolate syrup.
 
  • After a hard day of work, never be too tired to treat yourself. 
 
The connection to the past is important because it helped shape who you are and how you impact others. But you can’t only cling to the memories for the real value is how you use build upon those experiences to create memories for others. To expand your IMPACT so that your legacy is the foundation upon which other legacies will be built.
 
When your time draws near, you will be able to reflect, smile and enjoy that breath as you state, “ready when you are” and you move Beyond Today.

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    Tom Brown - a husband and a father who is simply trying to make a difference. Using my experience as a  Manufacturing Executive to connect leadership from the boardroom to the hardwood to help  teams grow and develop to make a difference in the lives of others.

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