Bridging Leadership Lessons from the Workplace and Those Experiences Shaping Today's Youth and Tomorrow's Leaders
 In honor of Father’s Day, I decided to share a few nuggets of wisdom that I learned from my own dad. I have been compiling this list for a while and it was a challenge to pick the ones I wanted to share and also to refine and categorize them in a way that would connect with a broader audience.
Some of these will probably bring out your own memories of your dad and his sayings so please share. It’s the sharing of memories that not only carries on the impact of others but helps build future stories for the next generation. My dad was my hero. He is the person I have respected most in my life and there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of him and share with him my own adventures. He’s the standard by which I measure myself and the port I search for in stormy weather. If it’s Worth Doing, it’s Worth Doing Right Don’t do something halfway around my dad or you were going to hear this… on repeat! Ironically, that wasn’t the view of my mom which led to some interesting dynamics throughout their life together. Whether it was cleaning, building or practicing sports, he wanted to make sure you were committed. He believed in working smarter rather than harder, but also didn’t believe in taking shortcuts just to save time. Ultimately, if something deserved to occupy your time, then it had value and you needed to treat it with respect.
You Can Do and Be Anything You Want Don’t let people's view limit you as they do not control your potential. The long talks we had through my childhood were always about people who succeeded and achieved in life. My dad was an avid reader of Time, US News, Scientific American, Sports Illustrated and many others and would always share the stories of those who overcome life's challenges. He stressed to me that being an athlete and being intelligent are not mutually exclusive. He would reference Bill Bradly, from Crystal City, Mo. Whose journey took him to Princeton, to the Final Four, to the Olympics, to a Rhodes Scholar, to the Knicks, to the U.S. Senate. He would say, that could be you. And I believed him. Dad grew up during the depression, hitchhiked the country after WWII, and settled down in Alaska raising a family and starting multiple businesses to provide for his family. He started youth sports programs, served on school boards and hosted politicians. He was a person of impact.
It’s Okay to Be Silly I never remember my dad wearing tennis shoes. My early memories were of my dad always being dressed up. Wearing wingtip shoes even when on vacation. As we got older and we moved to Missouri, it changed to jeans and wearing ball caps. But his ability to find ways to have fun in life never changed. The corny jokes and comments that are now celebrated as “Dad Jokes” were just my dad. Ordering a “Dr. Salt” because all of us and the grandkids were ordering Dr. Pepper. He and I would follow each other around the house walking in some goofy fashion like we belonged on Benny Hill or Carol Burnette show just to hear my mom cackle. Normally, kids would grow out of this, but somehow, I enjoyed this routine with him until he could no longer remember what to do.
“All I want to see is elbows and a$$holes” This is a saying that he learned from his days in the Merchant Marines in reference to sweeping/mopping the deck. He loved to bring it out when we were sweeping driveways, repairing the flat roofs, prepping the motel pool for summer, or shoveling the crap in the barn. While it was infuriating to hear him repeat it over and over with the smugness of a person who had heard it a hundred times himself, it obviously stuck with me and something I have repeated to my own kids, but not nearly as often because my hands start to blister by simply uttering the words! It wasn’t just the words. It was the lessons that he demonstrated about the importance of committing to your work - even when the job sucked - because it was the job you were hired to do.
Let’s Walk the Fence Line On the surface, it was all about work and making sure that everything was up to par. Originally, it was walking around the resort/motel we owned at the Lake of the Ozarks. Later, after we bought a farm, it was literally walking the fence line to make sure it was still strong and repair where it wasn’t. But it was so much more than that. It was getting outside and stretching your legs. But the real purpose was to stretch your mind. That is when we would dream and talk about what could be and craft a future state that would bring out that mischievous twinkle in his eyes. I miss those moments.
Take Time to Enjoy Some Ice Cream “Ready when you are…” As the older kids left home and it was just me and my parents, this was the phrase you would hear every evening as we were hanging out in the kitchen or living room watching some T.V. It was the signal that Dad was ready for some ice cream. We didn’t have little dessert bowls. Mom scooped it into cereal bowls. Lots of scoops! Sometimes she would bring out the 14 various toppings so you could create the sundae of your dreams, but most nights it was simply chocolate syrup.
The connection to the past is important because it helped shape who you are and how you impact others. But you can’t only cling to the memories for the real value is how you use build upon those experiences to create memories for others. To expand your IMPACT so that your legacy is the foundation upon which other legacies will be built. When your time draws near, you will be able to reflect, smile and enjoy that breath as you state, “ready when you are” and you move Beyond Today.
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 It is always amazing to me how an elephant can be hanging out in a room, and nobody will say a word. I mean, it could be a pink and black spotted elephant on a ball, wearing a tutu and people will try to ignore it even when it leaves a path of destruction in the office. Not a peep.
Well, I’ve never been one that doesn’t point out the elephant and I am sure my past coworkers could attest to the fact that I would speak up and get the topic on the table. Is the emperor wearing clothes? Heck no! He’s naked as a jaybird! Dude! Cover up! When You Become the Elephant So, what happens when you become that elephant in the room? I have pondered this during my self-reflection periods and have wondered if in my past career I had become the issue that people didn’t want to address. I am still struggling to come to grips with this today and I have narrowed it down to 3 possibilities:
Regardless of how it came to be, the reality was that I failed to recognize that I had become associated with the issue and not in a constructive way. Emotional Bank Account A big mistake I made in my career was to assume that investments I made into the Emotional Bank Accounts of the company, would cover my withdrawals from the accounts of individuals within the company. Those people did not appreciate my candor and challenges that I put out there to Be Better Today. (LINK) Without having a connection to the past, they viewed my approach as attacks and criticism. They had not been through my 3 Pillars of Impact leadership course that I had provided and more importantly, had not experienced the lessons shared in that course, firsthand, as many of my coworkers had who had been part of the journey. They arrived AFTER the transformation and had not shed the tears or blood as had those whose bank accounts were full of deposits. I assumed that my reputation and past contributions had more value than they actually did. This is common in veteran employees who tend to remember the past victories clearly and therefore thinks everyone else will as well. Overdrawing the Bank Account For those who were not there during the transformation, the past was nothing more than stories or words that were shared in meetings or in my blog. Those are not tangible investments into their Emotional Bank Account. Their only experience was with my actions which were coming across as overdrafts. My mentor, Steve Moles, would ask me if what I was saying was helpful or harmful. From where I stood, from my past experiences, it was extremely helpful because it was the truth. If you can’t agree on an issue, how can you begin to solve the problem? In reality, it wasn’t helpful, it was harmful. I had not made my deposits with them; I was quickly overdrawn and the solution I was pushing to fix the problem was discounted… as was I. Instead of addressing the problem, putting their focus on the message and the content, they chose to focus on how it made them feel and the intent was lost in that translation. Without the prior deposits, investments in them as people, they had no history or relationship with me. When insecurities exist, more effort must be made to build those connections and relationships that cross organizational boundaries. Something I learned early in my career and taught others to embrace in my leadership sessions, but something I overlooked in my own situation. Relationships are not transferred or assigned. They have to be built and cultivated every day. There is a difference between a farmer and a gatherer. Sowing seeds and tending the garden is critical to have a harvest Beyond Today. |
AuthorTom Brown - a husband and a father who is simply trying to make a difference. Using my experience as a Manufacturing Executive to connect leadership from the boardroom to the hardwood to help teams grow and develop to make a difference in the lives of others. 
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