Focus on These 3 Areas to Improve Your Coaching Practice

One of the biggest challenges I face in my coaching practice is to avoid being a solutions provider. To offer up the answer or even a possible answer. I’ve spent a lifetime addressing the challenges before me and now I need to put it aside, because the simple truth is coaching is not about me. 
 
Providing an answer or pathway forward to the client doesn't make an impact. It might satisfy my need to feel like I am making an impact, but in reality, in the long run, it could make matters worse for my clients.

My job is to listen and ask questions. To use the input from the client to help guide the client toward their OWN answers. 
 
Below are 3 areas I am focusing on improving so that I can Be Better Today than yesterday.
 
Overcoming the Urge to Advise
It’s understandable why we go here. We have a natural desire to help. So, to change, we need to rewire our mindset and build some new habits.
 
Self-Assessment
After each session reflect on moments when you gave advice or was tempted to give advice. What triggered the urge? (e.g. their frustration, your experience, and obvious solution?)
 
Pause & Reflect
During the session, when you feel the need to give advice, just shut up. Instead, change the focus from YOU answering to what you can do to help THEM discover an answer.
 
They are the Expert
You must remind yourself that they are the experts in their own life and you are there to guide, not solve. Your role is to unlock their wisdom, not provide yours.
 
Embrace Open-Ended Questions
Often, a spark is needed to help your client explore deeper into their situation. Open-ended questions don’t only open the door; they create a launching point to multiple pathways.
 
Create a Question List
Write down questions that you can use to create connections with your client. Find questions that fit your style and work for you. Look for questions that can be reflective (e.g., “How do you see this aligning with your values?”), exploring (e.g., “What else could you consider?”), and action-oriented (e.g., “What is 1 thing you could do today?”)
 
Practice
Use your conversations with family and friends. Gaining experience on how you ask questions will only strengthen those relationships. Focus on questions that start with “what”, “how”, or “why.”
 
Ask for Feedback
Explain to peers, mentors, friends, or family how you are trying to improve. Show vulnerability by recognizing an area to improve. This way you are more aware, and others can reinforce when you ask good, open-ended questions as well as highlight when you are advising.
 
Active Listening
This is the foundational component to coaching. Are you focusing on them or yourself? Are you listening to understand or to answer? By learning about how you can better focus, it will help you become a better listener. 
 
Becoming More Aware
There are many ways to improve mindfulness such as prayer and meditation. Apps such as Headspace & Calm can walk you through the process. As I write this, I have the White Noise app playing Brown Noise to help me focus and drown out distractions.
 
Paraphrase not Parrot
Summarize a key point they made. Don’t repeat it back word for word, but show you understand by restating in your own words. Verify that you understand the perspective and intent of what they said.
 
Help them Empty their Bucket
Often, a point that is brought up is not really the point they want to make. Ask questions that help them and give permission to delve deeper. 
 
These are my 3 focus areas. What are you focusing on? What are you doing to Be Better Today?
 
By focusing on these 3 areas, I know that I will improve my listening skills and that will improve my impact as a coach, Beyond Today.

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