Giving Your Leader a Hand

When I was writing my last article on Being a Leader is Never About You I was focusing on the #LeadersLead forum and how leaders need help sometimes. I wrote about the power of a mentor and the impact they can have on the lives of others and what it means for the mentor’s own growth.
 
As I was writing, I found myself running off course with a specific example I experienced and realized it was moving away from my main topic of a Leader not being about you, because that is exactly what that example was about.
 
So, I cut it from the article but saved it as I knew it might not have been the right time or place, but it was a great story in its own right. 
 
THE ODD COUPLE
In my previous career, the owner and I would have long conversations on various topics that others in management avoided. Due to our personalities and interests, it seemed to be an “Odd Couple” arrangement, but our united desire to grow and learn made it work.
 
The conversations worked because we could always find that next direction, building upon each other’s perspectives to find a new, distinct pathway that was better than the one either of us were traveling before. 
 
At some point, the relationship changed. We no longer had those conversations and while I may not have liked it, I understood the reasoning behind his decision. 
 
But while I could continue such conversations with my team, my external mentor, and others who approached me on various topics, he did not have that same support group. I, and others, noticed a change in him.
 
He no longer had that person who could respectfully challenge his point of view. To use a visionary perspective to think outside the box (in some cases maybe too far outside the box!) but it was an approach that I could tell he missed. He no longer had the person who could spark his imagination in one conversation, and in another bring him back to the practical aspects of gaining momentum.  
 
LEADING IN VULNERABILITY
In hindsight, I regret not fighting harder for that relationship. I told myself that was his call and I convinced myself that I had accepted it and was focusing on where I could have the greatest impact. But I wasn’t being honest with myself. Probably, just like he wasn’t either.
 
I bring this up because it is important to remember that we never truly know the struggles and challenges that others are experiencing.  We see the surface. We see the reactions. We see their response. But we don’t know what they are feeling, or the hours spent in mental conflict.
 
By accepting a situation at its face value may be the easiest thing to do at the time, it doesn’t mean that is the case over time. Reaching out to a person who doesn’t like to show their vulnerability, may make them (and you) uncomfortable because it fosters vulnerability, it may be exactly what they need. 
 
The leaders. The strong ones. Sometimes they need that helping hand as well, even when they don’t want to acknowledge it themselves. In my last article, I reminded you that leadership is never about you and so it is when you are helping to guide and support those who are your leaders.
 
It’s a reminder that #LeadersLead is not about being a leader, but about Leaders Growing Together - even when they may not see the need for growth. Every challenge is an opportunity to learn, and that mindset is what will make you a Person of Impact, Beyond Today.

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