It's the Response to Failure that Matters

Celebrating failure to protect someone's feelings is a pathway to another failure. It’s what you do with the failure that matters.
 
I recently spent time with an organization engaging their leadership in a session on the 3 Pillars of Impact: Building a Culture of Success.  During our conversation around the 2nd Pillar, Expect Excellence, we were discussing the power of learning from mistakes.
 
F.A.I.L. - First Attempt In Learning
I shared the adage that FAIL stands for First Attempt In Learning. Participants responded with stories of their own and you could hear enthusiasm in their voices as they talked about the growth that comes from failing, about getting beyond your comfort zone and the power found when you stretch your potential.
 
Afterwards, an attendee texted me a Mark Twain quote his father shared numerous times growing up. “Good judgement comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgement.” 
 
It was a great connection we shared as a group on that common message.
 
The Leader's Mindset
That evening, as I was scrolling through X and reflecting on the day, I came across a post from Dr. Jim Afremow who has written some excellent books such as The Champion’s Mind & The Leader’s Mind. 
 
He wrote:
“Failure doesn’t automatically equal learning - It’s how we approach it that counts.
 
Reflecting on what didn’t work, seeking feedback, and adjusting our mindset turn failure into a meaningful lesson.
 
Without that, failure is just a waste of time.”
 
This really hit home to me and something I realized was really easy to get caught up in when you are trying to move people forward.  In coaching, we try to not dwell on what “you did” but more on what “we need” in an effort to spend time on the behavior we want instead of on the one we don’t.
 
But sometimes, people need to know that there needs to be a change. To recognize what needs to change. Then celebrate making the change - to celebrate action and not just desire.
 
I had written in the past about Helicopter Parents in a Road Less Traveled where parents have a tendency to try and make life easier with their kids. It continues in the workplace as cultures have become People-Easy thinking that is how you create engagement but instead you are reinforcing a behavior that doesn’t recognize the importance of overcoming obstacles. 
 
Focus on the Response to Failure
As leaders, we have to be careful that we are conveying the right message. We love that you push the boundaries. Failure is okay… as long as we learn and grow from that failure.
 
You don’t say “Nice try, but you failed.” Just like you don’t say, “that’s okay everyone fails, you’ll do better next time,” and walk away without expecting a course correction. It has to be “nice try, it didn’t work out, NOW what adjustments can you make to get success?”
 
I have written much on this topic in previous articles:

• 5 Challenges to a Winning Culture
• Leadership Failures
• Taking the 3 Pillars to the Locker Room
• 4 Aspects to Setting Standards for Your Team

 
Because you can’t cover this topic enough. Success is built upon the foundation of failure, but only when you choose to adjust - to learn and grow - and find a new pathway or be better prepared to travel the same pathway.
 
Don’t Celebrate Failure
It’s trendy to celebrate failure. But instead of celebrating failure maybe we should simply acknowledge it and NOT demonize it. Then, we only celebrate if we do something with it. We don’t celebrate failure in order to save someone’s feelings. We wait for the response. We cheer as they rise to their feet and we celebrate when we see the change, the growth, in the person.
 
Failure is an investment. There is a price for failure. Time, money, reputation, and products. Some failures can be life altering and in the extreme case resulting in loss of life.
 
So, what are you going to do with your new opportunity? How will you rebound? How will you use this experience to make a positive impact Beyond Today?

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