Bridging Leadership Lessons from the Workplace and Those Experiences Shaping Today's Youth and Tomorrow's Leaders
![]() I do my best to maintain a positive outlook and mindset. This has been a topic of past blogs but also, I feel weaves its way into what I write about and how I write. My family members will sometimes show frustration with me as I don’t jump in with them to the deep end of the negativity pool, instead choosing to dip my toe and then talk about the alternatives. A friend of mine is a particular challenge for me due to their negativity that surfaces in every conversation and text that we share. I know many of you are thinking back to our last interaction wondering if it is you… if you are, then maybe you already see an opportunity to change! But, back to the story. While I care about this person, my initial reaction when my phone rings or when I see a text notification is one of dread. I get angry at myself for that feeling afterwards, but when it happens, it already puts me on edge and in a negative frame of mind which I hate. Depending upon my initial mood, my approach to those conversations goes one of two ways: 1) I am short, impatient and I add fuel to support their negativity or 2) I turn philosophical and try to talk about the power of positivity and the potential of the future that has not happened yet. Obviously, I much prefer the latter, but it is a test to be in that mode. In a recent conversation, I was in full positive mode so when my friend started with the sad story and he was feeling sorry for himself, I called him out and talked about staying positive. He responded with, “Good advice but I know me better than you, obviously. Just keeping it real.” Well, I was not going to be denied. So, I challenged them about how they let their frustration get the best of them and then they take it out on others. I said, “Your choice... be a victim of your circumstance or do something about it.” I went on to stress that “you don't have to accept your past as your future. Build new habits going forward.” My friend then engages me and acknowledges what I am saying and even references some podcasts that I have recommended to help with his outlook. It seems like he is trying to build himself up, to speak truth and positivity into himself, but then finishes with a sentence talking about how hard it is to be positive and that their life makes it easier to be in that negative state of mind, regardless of how depressing it is. So, I called him out again. I was not going to let him get away with this negative self-talk to lower his expectations of himself. Because the 2nd Pillar of Impact is to Expect Excellence in yourself and others, and right then, we both needed it. “There you go again. What are you focusing on? What you don't have? What's depressing? Or you could focus your thoughts and words about what is awesome. You must enjoy the moments.” I finish off by paraphrasing Jon Gordon saying it’s impossible to be negative and grateful at the same time. “You’re right,” my friend replied. “That’s just me, I never thought it would be something I had to work at, but I guess after being where I have been for so long, it has enabled me to stay in that state. But trying to NOT focus on the negative is truly a challenge especially when the domino effect starts my days.” I quickly reflect on many of my past experiences with him. The way his anger would bubble up and then be targeted at you or whoever was around. Full throttle anger that you knew was not really about you, but about him and the world he lives in that was built by the choices he made. You knew instantly when he was not on his medication based upon the volatility of his reactions. At those moments, there was no reasoning with him, you just ride the storm out. But this wasn’t one of those days and I needed to push forward. “Believe me,” I said, “I understand the dominoes you are talking about, especially in regard to receiving the impact of those dominoes from what you say. Words are powerful. I share this with you because you say stuff that matters. Maybe not to you, because they are just words. But they are your feelings and represent you, which is why it SHOULD mean something to you.” I went on to suggest that since the words matter, instead of accepting "that's just me" say "that was me, but not anymore". I explained that every time he gives power to the negativity and victim status saying that he can't change, he is taking a step further away from who he can become - a step further away from being happy. I could tell that my friend was deep in thought, soaking in what we had been discussing, so I decided to wrap up our conversation. “You always tell me that you appreciate what I say. So do me a favor and show it with your actions. Don't make excuses. Don't expect anything less than excellence. Not perfection, but the pursuit of excellence in everything you do. Remember, it's not failure, if you are still moving forward.” A quiet and caring response is what I got from my friend, “All in time.” I knew that it wasn’t over. That his thoughts were not focusing on the power of the positive or the future that has left to be lived but instead, was still focused on the decisions and situations that had gotten him to this place. The loss. The bad decisions. The hurt. But, despite his reflections, I could see a glimpse of sunshine. The fate glimmer of hope that today would be a good day. Negative thoughts are going to happen but clinging to and immersing yourself in those negative thoughts will lead to negative actions. That is not good for you or those who care about you. Commit to finding the positive. Commit to moving forward. Commit to being grateful. Commit to focusing on what you can be versus what you were. Commit to be better today than you were yesterday so that you can be better Beyond Today.
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![]() You may not know it, but I'm the smartest person in the world. It goes against my Gandhi-like humble nature to say this, but it is something I have long known to be true. It is something that other people, because they lack the cognitive discipline and inherent problem-solving skills, have struggled to accept. You see, I probably know more about politics and how to run a nation than any of the elected officials in Washington D.C. I have provided recommendations to eliminate the national debt, to fix the border crisis and to deal with homelessness that is plaguing our citizens. I also have shared how to deal with rising medical costs, creating new jobs and fighting world hunger. If you don’t believe that I have the answers., well… just check out my social media posts. Everyone else is an idiot! I also might be the most incredible driver that has ever sat behind the steering wheel of a motor vehicle. I don’t think Dale Earnhardt would be able to attack the turns as effectively as I do. My speed is almost always as perfect as my use and timing of the turn signals. My uncanny ability to seamlessly merge into and out of traffic is so much better than every other driver on the road. If you don’t believe me, just ride with me and I will point out the flaws of everyone else that is sharing the road with me. Don’t even get me started about my ability as a parent. My kids are incredible, just look at my amazing yet blessed posts on social media. I hate to sound like “that parent” but if you would just listen to what I am saying, you wouldn’t have issues with your kids. It’s not how I would handle it and honestly my kids would never do that, well, because I’m a better parent than you. If you don’t believe me, just look at my posts and listen to what I’m saying about how perfect my life is. What do you mean that isn’t what my kids say? Well, they don’t listen to me either, because if they did, then they wouldn’t say that! Yep, I’m the smartest person in the world, just ask me. I’m not just the smartest person today, I’m also the smartest person Beyond Today. I thought I would have a little fun as a reminder that your strength and value are not found in the voices or opinions of others, but by your thoughts that lead to your actions that lead to your impact on others. Don’t let the judgment of others keep you from reaching your best Beyond Today. “Your beliefs become your thoughts, Your thoughts become your words, Your words become your actions, Your actions become your habits, Your habits become your values, Your values become your destiny.” ― Gandhi ![]() I was first introduced to the people-soft vs people-easy concepts in my early days with Brewer Science as a new manager. The owner and founder, Terry Brewer, was unique in how he created a culture of trust, ownership, and service that stood out from the typical companies. It was more than just words as he built that type of environment in how he engaged the employees daily. He went so far as to provide training and discussion on the soft skills in a weekly leadership meeting that he himself led, where we reviewed leading management books such as the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Who Moved My Cheese, Deep Change, and The Fifth Discipline. Terry focused on creating buy-in and establishing trust to influence the employees instead of using the authoritative position approach. Being a privately held company, he did not focus on bottom line profits but instead felt that if we did things right, and focused on being a Company of the People, By the Technology and For the Customer, the bottom line would take care of itself. When I was a new employee, I struggled with the concept because I grew up in a family where my parents always had a business, and they were clearly in charge. While my siblings and I worked at the businesses at various times, there was no doubt who was in charge. Despite initially struggling to grasp Terry’s vision, it didn’t take long before I recognized the similarities in the entrepreneurial spirit and the sense of ownership that were shared by my parents. My Dad’s mantra was “if it is worth doing, it is worth doing right” and that is a saying I have used with all my own kids as well as fostering that same ownership at work. Interestingly enough, there were quite a few people that struggled with the concept of being “People-Soft”. It wasn’t always the new employees that were either new to this culture or new to the workforce as those who had been at the company for some time, still struggled to come to grips with the role the culture played. Many people viewed that the approach taken to empower employees was actually a weakness that lacked accountability as they felt that they couldn’t make people do certain things. They would become defensive and say, “my hands are tied” or “I can’t make them do that” and would accept that things were not getting done on time. When I was promoted to Director and started participating in these sessions led by Terry, well, that is when I fully understood what he was trying to establish in the future leaders. My buy-in was so dramatic that a more seasoned Director asked me one night over a beer why I had transformed and if I had really bought in or not. I looked at him both dumbfounded but also proud. Dumbfounded because what Terry taught resonated so clearly with me that I assumed everyone was on board and proud because he recognized that I was practicing and living what was being taught. People-Soft Terry and I would have long discussions on the various books and topics. When I broached the topic of a “subculture” that existed where people didn’t feel that they could hold people accountable, Terry became animated and said, “Tom, there is a difference between people-soft and people-easy.” He went on to say that people-soft is when we are practicing the soft skills to create an environment where people want to contribute and are free to find the best way to contribute to our company’s success. We want them to feel ownership and treat everyone with respect. We want to be flexible and aware that everyone has their own experience in life and have a life outside of work. People-Easy In contrast, we are not people-easy. We shouldn’t lower expectations or let people get away without doing what needs to be done. He told me that we have the obligation, as leaders, to provide guidance and expectations so they understand what needs to be done. If they are unable to do the work, then we are responsible for training and educating to make sure that they have the skills. It’s not that you can’t correct the behavior, but more about how you correct the behavior that matters. We won’t tolerate people taking advantage of our company. But we want people to enjoy the benefits of our company. A great example of this was one of my early leaders. He was very hands-off and focused on where he expected the company to go and not so much on how we would get there. I describe his leadership style as someone who would let you walk right up to the edge of the cliff without saying a word. Depending upon how high the cliff, dictated his action. If it was only a small drop-off, he might let you fall knowing that there was low risk of injury and after dusting yourself off, well, you probably wouldn’t do that again. If it was a tall bluff, then he would give you a slight nudge to keep you from falling off, but not enough to change your direction. If you kept hovering along the edge, he would still, just casually give you a nudge until you finally found your path. Early on, his approach was frustrating, and he seemed to be wasting my time. I even asked him, why don’t you just grab me by the shoulders and point me in the right direction. He responded, “but then you won’t learn and grow from finding it on your own.” That really hit home for me. He could have been people-easy and not expected anything from me and just put me in the middle of the plateau away from the edges, but then I would never have enjoyed the view of the edge, the exhilaration of surviving the edge or the life lesson of knowing that while there is always an edge, there may not always be a rail preventing you from falling over. It is the people-soft approach that promotes ownership and learning, that provides a foundation for personal growth that can impact so many others. A people-easy environment is not one of excellence, whether it is from the perspective of the employees or from that of leadership. A people-easy approach whines about accountability while a people-soft environment promotes and encourages ownership. It is with that sense of ownership that a people-soft environment fosters and enables a culture to truly last Beyond Today. |
AuthorTom Brown - a husband and a father who is simply trying to make a difference. Using my experience as a Manufacturing Executive to connect leadership from the boardroom to the hardwood to help teams grow and develop to make a difference in the lives of others. Archives
February 2025
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