Do Your Kids Activities Bring the Right Value?

Revised & updated December 28, 2021. First Published September 29, 2009, How Do You Find the Time?

​Let's see, I need to have Sam to soccer practice at 4pm, Mary to gymnastics at 4:30, Ryan with his personal basketball trainer at 4pm and then to football practice at 5:30 and oh, yeah, it would be nice to have a home cooked meal!
 
This scenario is playing out across the country as parents cram more and more into the lives of their kids trying to make sure that they can take advantage of the opportunities that we did not have during our youth. It seems that many of us are guilty of this practice...and it's not just the sports minded people. You also have music lessons, dance recitals, scouting, book clubs, nature clubs, math clubs. Uggghhh! It is a never ending “fill the void”, “follow the pea while I shuffle the cup”, “battling the clock” while trying to make sure your child gets enough sleep.
 
We all want what is best for our kids but at what price?
 
To keep things in perspective, we should ask ourselves:
Are they having fun?

• Do they seem happy? Are they putting in the time because they want to or because they want to please me? Is it an activity that they view with excitement or dread?
• Take the time to talk to your child about their dreams and don’t confuse them with your dreams. It may be that spending time with a skills trainer is what they want to do, but then you need to find a trainer that can make the learning more enjoyable and fulfilling.

 
Are their activities impacting their studies?

• How are their grades? Do they have time to do their homework or are they cramming it in between activities or before they catch the bus?
• Priorities. We need to make sure that we are prepping them for the real world because for the vast majority, a degree or trade will be much more valuable than a killer crossover. The reality is that the journey from HS basketball to D1 college player is a narrow path with only 2.2% of men and 1.3% of women making the jump.

 
Are we spending any quality time as a family?

• Is it quality time when you are only spending 20 minutes with them in the car ride and the rest of the time is watching them work? Is it enough to be present if you are not the one engaging them?
• The amount of time I have spent in a gym with my kids over the years is something I would struggle to calculate. Watching them play games, coaching them, playing with them, or watching games together has created lasting memories and a bond that will last a lifetime. My point is that it can’t always be a job for your kid. You get weekends, evenings, and vacations from your work so that you can spend time with your family.  They need the same break.

 
We also need to keep in mind that not every kid is the same. Don’t pressure your child to keep up with a teammate. They may have different goals and passions. If you have multiple kids going through this process, it’s even more critical that you don’t make assumptions and treat them the same. While it’s obvious growing up that they have their own distinct personalities, we tend to compare them to their siblings and try to follow the same path that worked for the older child.
 
The bottom line is 20 years from now, will your child thank you for these opportunities? Will your family be stronger? Or will you be asking yourself why you didn't spend more time just being family? Ultimately, the answers to these questions are relevant to the happiness of your child Beyond Today.

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